Blaming Our Parents Is Easy - by William Doyle

It’s easy to blame our parents for how we are:

"How can I be successful and happy when my father always told me I wouldn’t amount to much?"

"My mother was never a role model for a happy, healthy woman."

"No one ever showed me love when I was a child, so how can you expect me to have good relationships now?"

"I was sexually abused by my father so everything’s wrong with my life now."

"No one ever expressed emotions in our family; they still don’t, so don’t expect me to be demonstrative." "My brother was always the favourite, so no wonder I’m insecure."

Does any of this sound familiar? May be not those exact words, but do you find yourself justifying who and what you are by what your parents did or didn’t do?

It’s easy, because it allows us not to make any effort to change, but it’s hard because it means we stay where we are – in our pain and anger.

But stop a minute and think: if you’re blaming your parents for how you are, you have to blame their parents for how they are. It’s not logical to say they’re to blame for how I am and for how they are.

Does it mean that none of you have any independent action? It may be so, that nothing will change, that they are as they are, and that you are as you are, and that if you have children you will visit it all on them.

Does that let them off the hook? Does it mean that you have to forgive them? ... continue to the full article